Ok, just a little background to preface this blog....When I first moved to Vegas (2.5 years ago) I went to the license branch like a good boy to get my Nevada Driver's License. I was told that since I had too many speeding tickets in Indiana I would not only have to to take the written test, but also take the skills driving test. I passed the written test and then they told me I could make an appointment a month and a half from now or wait in line for approximately 4 hours to take the skills test and even then they couldn't promise me I would get to take the test today. I chose to make an appointment and of course forgot about it when it came time to go. Fast forward about 1 year....I decided I would finally go back to try again. Since it had been so long since I had taken the written test I had to take it again. I rushed through the test and somehow failed the written test and I felt like the biggest failure at life ever after I looked around and saw a room full of white trash people that could barely speak English passing the same test I just failed. Fast forward another year....I lost my Indiana Driver's License (still valid) while I was home last so I decided I had better go try again for my license. This time I aced the written test and I had to make another appointment for the skills test a month and a half in advance. It was still a long shot that I would actually remember my appointment at that point, but I set a couple different reminders on my phone and I managed to make it to my appointment about 15 minutes early.
I gave them my paperwork and checked in for my appointment and they told me to have a seat until they called my name. I already imagined them taking forever to get to me despite me having a scheduled appointment. Surprisingly, they called my name at 11:00 am sharp. I went up to the lady that called my name and she asked me if I was Patrick, I responded "Yes, ma'am". She asked me if I had ever had a license before, I responded "Yes, ma'am". She said "thank God, I will just take you on the short route then". So far, so good.
We got outside and she checked my turn signals, brake lights, and horn. Then she got in the car and sat there for a moment. I thought about asking her where we were headed, but realized my only option was to pull forward out of my parking space so I put it in gear and she stopped me. She said "Aren't you going to wait for me to get my seat belt on?" I said "I apologize" and I waited for her to put her seat belt on before I pulled forward. She said "No, put it back in park and wait for me to get my seat belt on". I obliged and she put her belt on and then said "Did you know that can result in an automatic failure?" I said "No, I did not realize that not waiting for my passenger to put their seat belt on before I put it in gear could result in an automatic failure, I apologize." She then tells me to turn my radio off (it was barely even audible I had it turned on so low). Ridiculous, but whatever...I turned my radio off.
She tells me where to go and I follow directions all while driving with my hands in the "Ten and Two" position. We get to the first stop light, which was less than two blocks away, and I come to a complete stop before taking one hand off of the wheel and rest it on my lap. While we are waiting at the stop light I say to her "Just out of curiosity, is it a penalty if I don't drive with my hands at the "Ten and Two" positions?" She says that it is so I make it a point to always drive with my hands in the correct position. I did take one hand off the wheel on 4-5 occasions throughout the rest of the test....probably 3 times to rest it on my lap again while we were stopped at lights and maybe 2 times to itch my face. I know she is going to be a stickler so I make sure to pay attention to the speed limit and stay comfortably under it so she won't have anything to complain about. I signaled everywhere I should and always checked my blind spot. During the parallel parking portion of the test I pulled forward even with the first barrel, backed in and just as I got close to the curb I pulled forward approximately 2 feet and then backed in the rest of the way. I then pulled forward to get the car straight (or parallel) in the parking spot. At this point I was probably 3 feet from the front barrels and 15 feet from the back barrels so I backed up a few feet so I would be in the center of the parking spot. Flawless performance, in my opinion.
At one point during the test I asked her what her success rate was for people passing the skills test and she told me it depends on the person. I correctly told her that it didn't really depend on the person, she still has to have an overall success rate for all of her drivers combined. She told me then that is was "pretty good".
Now is when I felt like the candid camera session began. I parked my car and we went inside to "discuss my test". She had another co-worker come in and observe out discussion. She asked me how long I had lived in Vegas and I told her "about two years." She said, "So you should be familiar with the roads around here then, correct?" I said "Yes, ma'am". Then she listed some errors that I had made during my driving test.
1. At several times during the drive I was driving 35 MPH when the speed limit was 45 MPH and during some other times I was driving 30 MPH when the speed limit was 40 MPH
2. Often times, I turned my turn signal on too early when making turns.
3. I have a tendency to driving with one hand on the wheel.
4. I didn't allow her to get her seat belt on before I began to drive.
5. There were too many maneuvers in my parallel parking.
She then stated that these were all very vital things. Each time she read off another of my "violations" I could not help myself from smirking at first and full blown smiling by the end of our "discussion". She then told me that I had failed my test and I would need to reschedule an appointment.
I obviously know I will never get anywhere by arguing with her so I was polite and just said OK, and got my paper work back from her and went on my way to reschedule another appointment. Guess what? The next available appointment is on December 10th.
I have no idea why she had it out for me, but she clearly did not want me to pass. I honestly thought it was a joke until the very end when I got up to leave the discussion room....it wasn't a joke.
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